"I Agree with Nick"

As I watched the BBC News at lunchtime today, I heard the political correspondent use the word 'compromise' to describe how the Conservative and Liberal political coalition might work. My immediate reaction was "No! We need more than compromise we need collaboration!" As the two leaders are being forced to trade policies they will inevitably encounter conflict. How they deal with this will be a real test of their leadership skills.

In my coaching of individuals and teams I frequently use the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument to help people understand their behaviour in conflict situations. It describes behaviour along two dimensions of ASSERTIVENESS and COOPERATIVENESS. These two basic dimensions are used to define 5 specific methods of dealing with conflict:

• COMPETING is assertive & uncooperative. It is about power, pursuing one's own concerns at the expense of others.
• ACCOMMODATING is unassertive & cooperative. The opposite of competing, it is about neglecting our own concerns to satisfy the concerns of others.
• AVOIDING is unassertive & uncooperative. It may take the form of diplomatically sidestepping, postponing or withdrawing from a threatening situation.
• COMPROMISING is intermediate in both assertiveness & cooperativeness. It is finding an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties.
• COLLABORATING is about attempting to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves really digging to identify the underlying concerns of both parties and being open and creative to find alternatives that satisfy both. Collaborating is not easy and can take time, but will often get better and more sustainable results.

So how do you resolve your conflicts? Do you always get the results you want?

Who knows what you might achieve by understanding your overused and underused styles and trying a different approach.

Let's see how 'David & Nick' use these skills in their new partnership!